Next week I will be heading back to London to pick up from where I left off eight months ago. When I decided to leave the UK and travel I had people ask why and for what reasons. Whether I was trying to find myself on this epic journey. What would I do, if I couldn’t get a job when I return? When would I be returning and what was I hoping to achieve doing this at my age? Others were curious about the places I was planning to visit and some just simply said – good for you! I wish I had the courage to do that.
For most part of my life I believed that I would be a happier person, if I set out to achieve everything that was expected of me. Work hard, but not too much; find a good man, but do not marry too young. Start a family, but not until you have a stable life and have secured a steady career. Keep close friendships and invest in your immediate family, but do not let them rule your life. Be strong but not cold or distant. Be a woman, a wife and a lover. Be a daughter, a sister, a friend and a leader. When I failed my marriage and a new love left me scarred, friendships became fewer, family was reduced to its bloodline and the job was just a means of getting by, I wanted to be reminded of what life is really about. When I was a child I used to swim in seas, climb trees, dance with the music so loud I could not hear myself sing along. When I was a teenager I would travel, paint and write. I rebelled, loved and lived. I was fearless then. Something changed and suddenly fear had me by the neck and was holding me up, keeping me from drowning. Fear of disappointing others, fear of losing my place in this world, fear of losing love and the fear of losing my mind. So I decided to fight fear and do what I do best. I started drawing again, made my writing public, quit my job, left my home and embarked on the longest trip I have ever been on. I danced on beaches, swam in seas, rode scooters in the sunset, climbed mountains at sunrise, dived oceans and sailed around islands. I hit fear right where it hurts. I faced it and conquered… well almost. Still haven’t jumped out of that plane yet…
Returning from this incredible adventure and looking back I have gone full circle and arrived right back where I started. Only difference is that I grew stronger, grew wiser, a little older, grew a bigger heart, a greater understanding of other people’s fears and grew less judgemental of my own. The only thing holding me up now and keeping me from drowning is life. The most exciting, most precious and most unpredictable asset you will ever own. The irony is that people often believe they have to change their entire life, when they do not realise that life is all about change. Sometimes you can plan it, but mostly change kicks you in the arse without a warning and you are left to deal with it. Well, that’s life and I intend to live mine. Live it by the wonderful words of Mark Twain:
Work like you don’t need money,
Love like you’ve never been hurt,
And dance like no one’s watching.